Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven

2003-08-23T20:57:00.001-07:00

i miss bradley....:'(

2003-08-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

hey...bored, did quizzes...waiting for my mom to get home....dunno where shes is....

2003-08-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You like the Mohawk or liberty spikes!!!!!!!! You
rock thats what i have.

Witch Hair style would you have.
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Congratulations! You're a black velvet!

What Drink Are You?
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You represent... desire.
You sure are motivated. You have a definite knack
for getting what you want. You always put your
own interests before those of others, and you
almost always find youself being satisfied.
Though you have determination, try some
compassion. Putting others first occassionally
can get you even more satisfying relationships.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Schoolgirl

What's your sexual appeal?
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Your: Mysterious eyes. All in the title. Your
independant secretive and myseterious. You
appear cold and distant, but hey, at leats no
one messes with you.

What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

hey everyone
im at my dads now...whoa blogger got all cool! anyways i dont have much to say im just bored and stuff...kinda funny how wehen i did a test i got the gsangsta barbie...lol...probably cause i answered a lotta the questions with dug answers...lol...anyways talk to you guys katrer.,..school starts soon! ahhhhh!

2003-08-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Duh. You are "But WHY's the rum gone?!"
You're not the smartest one in the bunch, but
you're sweetly appealing and you don't let
disappointment get to you. Everybody
identifies with you, because let's face it, why
IS the rum gone?

Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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Masochist

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

hey everyone
i havent written in like the longest time! iunno if any of you guys are even gonna read this now. meh...anyways nothing much is happening in my life...ive been in slome serious trouble lately since i got busted by the cops for drinking...yeah that was pretty bad. its weird cause ill be thinking that bdrinking and getting high is just a waste of time but then gaain if i dsont ever do it then ill just be sitrting around while all my other friends are high so i might as well enjoy it. i mean i love the feeling of being high. im not tryting to convince any of you guys to go and do it or anything (which i know i would never be able to do anyways) but i just like it and i dont have any real reason not to be doing it.iunno...
yeah i havent seen lisa in like the longest time and it sucks. my mom freeaked out cause whenever were together we end up doing somehting that she told ,me not to do so she said that io camt do anything with her for 2 weeks. it sucks. plus things are getting like al fucked up with everyone now too. natasha has decided that she doesnt wanna be friends with lisa anymore...and tahts really fucked up cause theyve been friends since like forever and its just sad to see this happenening. its like theyre all giving up on lisa....i mean shes doing alot of thinhgs that she shouldnt be doing and some that shde even told us that she wqould never wanted to be into...i rea;lly do hope that she gets out of it soon though...i mean if she only did weed as often as me then thatd be ok...and thats not all shes doing thats not good...not other drugs but shes just not thinking...anyways...ill finish this later
gotta go bye

2003-06-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

hi y'all
damn today we had the fucking exam today.neh. i dont have much to say other than i miss bradley and im a lil worried about how im going to feel once he moves. i was supposed to go up north with him on like tomorow but i have an exam!
neh
well in dont have anything to say so ill just go.
CIAO
xoxoxox

2003-06-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

hey everyone...yeah well i am a lot happier than the last time i wrote, i now have a boyfriend...he goes to riverdale and his name is bradley(fuck i sound like a loser...but yeah) him and bob came over today and then we went to centenial park and sat there and...stuff. yeah and bob like ditched us so we didnt know hwo to get out of there or what timew it was so when we were walking and my mom came and saw us and said his mom wa spissed or something....then she was talking and shes acting all like ahhhh. i came in and shes like wow im impressed and i was like what? and then she said that normally kids would stop holding hands when they saw their mom (we were holding hands). and then i went to get a drink and shes like ohhh i know why you need to drink, and i was like uhhhh...and then she asked me if he was a good kisser?! whoa! thats my mom ahhhhhhhhhhhh...my mom says im acting all weird and "she knows what im feeling"....im scared! lol...yeah anyways...but HES MOVING IN LIKE 2 WEEKS! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....im so sad, were going to try and work things out even though ill only see him every other weekend when hes at his dads...oh well were going to try...i hope it works out i really really like him...its kinda funny cause like weve only actually been in eachothers presence 3 times...and tahts including today...hehe...ah well...yeah i dont have much else to say other thanh i dont want him to move...so ill just go now..hehehe

2003-05-28T17:58:00.000-07:00

i almost did it again...im giving up...it hurts

2003-05-28T17:57:00.001-07:00

Young. Really young. I'd say anywhere from 15-35.
But you'll go out with a bang. You'll get in a
car accident or be shot. You'll never have to
see yourself get old. Sad though. Really sad.
By the way, its common knowledge that more
people with great goals and aspirations die
young. And if you want to die old, you'll die
young and vice versa.

At what age will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
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Playful

What's your sexual appeal?
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You are Bob Marley!

Who are you?
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I am a rude kitten with a little pink butt

Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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You are 100% straight edge

How straight edge are you?
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2003-05-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

You are 100% straight edge

How straight edge are you?
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2003-05-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

hey guys

dont know what to say...just doing quizzes...ehhhhhhhhh

2003-05-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

You Attract Normal Guys!

Not that "normal" is a bad thing... you just prefer not to get your heart broken.

You've probably dated enough losers in your life, learned from it, and become an ultra cool chick.

And it's this togetherness that attracts the right kind of guy.

Healthy guys aren't afraid of intimacy or commitment.

They'll call you after a first date, but they won't want to move in after one week.

Normal guys can solve their own problems - and will help you solve yours.

To keep things blissful with your normal guy (or to get the right one), it's easy.

Continue to be the super incredible chick that you are, no emotional baggage or issues.

Normal, incredible guys love girls like you.

What Kind of Guy Do *You* Attract?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Are Very Horny

Your sex drive catchs you in a trap!

You want to be sensible and sexy, but it's hard to be both!

You are a horny chick riding on a derailed speeding train.

Chances are your body will win out over your mind, and you'll let your sexual spirit free.

Sure your sexuality has caused a bit of drama, but what's live without the drama?

You have come a long way, though, and it never hurts to travel a bit more!

How Horny Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Your Secret Fetish Is Piercings!

Not only is the pain a big rush, as you know, piercings are a great sexual enhancer.

Sure, you may not be able to get a job with your punctured face,

but you will have incredible sex!

Kiss and suck away, but don't get your piercings locked with your lover's.

What's *Your* Secret Fetish? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

2003-05-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

i dont feel like talking or writing
leave me alone

2003-05-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

You Are An Intense Kisser!

Deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda.

You've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss, before getting to anything else on the menu.

And given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else.

What Your Kissing Style Says About You:

When you want something you go for it, and you don't let go until it's yours.

And when you feel, you feel intensely (surprised?). You have a dramatic streak, no doubt.

If you're in a relationship, you don't take anything lightly. And neither should your lover.

Your Personal Kissing Matches and Mismatches:

Hook up with other Intense Kissers to have the experience of a life time. You'll both feel incredible things, both
in your heart and down there! If you are looking for an even more sexual fun, find the nearest Carnal Kisser.
You'll get kissed down there just right.

Stay away from Manic Kissers at all costs. They spread it around a little too much to give you the passion you crave.
And forget about Juicy Kissers as well - they seem a bit too superficial for you.

How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

2003-05-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

ah i am sucha loser...i really need something better to do
life is fine now
i dont care much anymore
i found a song that i really like called profile by the deviates. you should download it or something
lets see...im going to the riverdale dance on friday, dont know why, anyhoo...oh yes would you all like to know whoi like? MATT COCKBURN....but shhh dont tell anyone
ack i dont care who knows, dont think he likes me anyways...hehe...dont carevmuch anyways
ahhh im bored and not really sure what to talk about
i think that iull be going to kristalyns tomorow to watch the rules of attraction! woo hoo!
anyways...im off to do some more quizzes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-05-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

Lucida Calligraphy - You tend towards the arts.
You tend to stand out in a crowd and have your
own style. Be careful not to be too aloof,
however.

What Font Are You? (Standard Fonts)
brought to you by Quizilla

You should be an Aries, Outgoing, Extravert,
Energetic, Dynamic, Courageous, Generous,
Strong, Extravagant but sometimes can be
arrogant, insecure, jealous, concerned with
looks and others' opinion

~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~
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Random Fast-Food Mascot

What's Your Personality Type?
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Are You Afraid Of The Dark? Telling ghost stories
that scare the crap out of me is your goal in
life. Please stop, the clowns'll eat me...

What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
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Happy-Go-Lucky. You are a happy person and you
don't let your emotions get to you. You see
everything that's not in a positive light as
not worth messing with and deal with emotions
as they come. You are usually very happy and
probably experience many emotional highs. Enjoy
life.

How Emotional Are You?
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Avril Lavigne, she's a disgrace to your kind.

What annoying Celebrity would you most likely wanna kill?
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You are the Consummate Hipster. Newbies bow to
you, everyone else just stares, as you swagger
down the street with "Little Green
Bag" stuck in your head.

What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

Black:
PEOPLE SUCK THE WORLD SUCKS EVERYBODY SHOULD BE
KILLED AND BLEED TO DEATH TILL THE COLD EARTH
SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the
world. For reasons who knows, but you
definately hate life.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

Full Name: Melissa Pasquarelli

Birth date: august 2nd 1988
Age: 14
Sex: female
What school do you attend: P.C.H.S
Siblings and their ages: michael and matthew
Righty or Lefty: righty

[x] Your Looks [x]

Hair Color: black
Eye Color: green
Height: 5'3
Do you have any piercing? ears
Where do you want more if you do: eyebrow, lip, tongue
Do you wear any rings: yeah
What shoes do you wear: sneakers

[x] Just Lately[x]
How are you today: meh
What pants are you wearing: jeans
What shirt are you wearing: green stripey one
What does your hair look like at the moment: down
What song are you listening to right now: anti-flag – 911 for peace
What was the last thing you ate: chips
How is the weather right now: SUNNY! yay
The last person you talked to on the phone: justin
Who are you talking to right now: no one
What time is it: 5 30

[x] More about you [x]
What are the last four digits of your phone #: 5172
If you were a crayon what color would you be: yellow or pink
Have you ever almost died: yes
Do you like the person that sent this to you: hmm…well yeah I like kris, she didn’t send it to me…haha
What makes you feel good: distracting myslef from my problems
What's the next cd you are going to buy: anti-flag - mobilize
What's the best advice ever given to you: hes not going to change and that’s not his fault
Have you ever won any special awards: water polo once
What sport do you hate the most: golf
What are you scared of the most: bugs
How many TVs do you have in your house: 2
Do you have your own phone line: no
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yeah
Place for a dream house: the netherlands
Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone?: yeah
Who do you dream about: lotsa people
Who is the quietest friend: kristalyn

[x] Just Questions [x]
Is cheerleading a sport: NO
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop: that question is ruined for me due to my way of thinking
Which came first the chicken or the egg: ME

[x] You and Love [x]
Do you believe in love: yeah
Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: nope
Who is your crush: I think everyone who reads this knows…matt
Did you send this to your crush: uhhhh
Do you believe in love at first sight: strong attraction maybe...not necessarily LOVE.
What song do you want played at your wedding: WEDDING?! AhhhhhH!
Are you too shy to ask someone out: no
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: iunno
tell me the story of your first kiss: meaningful or meaningless? no
cutest thing a guys ever done for you: I don’t think I shpuld wirte it here

[x] FOR GIRLS ONLY [x]
Boxers or Briefs: boxers
Long or short hair: LONG
Curly or straight: don’t care
Six Pack or muscular arms: six pack
Hat or no hat: hat
Ears pierced or not: pierced is good
Tan or fair: tan
Stubble or Clean Shaven: whats stubble? Facial heair is good
Rugged or sporty: rugged
Studly or Cutie: meh
Glasses: meh
Smart or dumb: smarts better
What sport should he play: skateboard]
dependent or independent: independent

[x] Pick this or that [x]
Lights on/off: off (wink,wink)
Do you like snow, sun, rain: rain or sun…NO SNOW
Mickey D's r Burger King: im a vegetarian
Backstreet Boys or Nsync: hahahaha
Pepperoni or sausage: as a pizza topping? Im a vegetarian
Summer or Winter: summer
Hugs or kisses: kisses
chocolate or white milk: CHOCOLATE
cd or tape: cd
Mud or Jell-o wrestling: mud
Skiing or boarding: boarding
day or night: night
cake or pie: pie
diamond or pearl: diamonds
sunset or sunrise: sunset
Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry: yep
Smoked: yes
Drank: YES
Broke the law:YES
The mattress tag incident: right…
Ran from the cops: haha…yeah
Made yourself throw up: nah
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: uh huh
Do you like filling these out: yeah sometimes. meh

2003-04-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but
quite daring. you move for the kill confidently
knowing the other person wants the same thing.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're the suggestive grin,mostly used while
flirting and accompanied by the come-hither
look.You're either an attention hog or way too
insecure to not be in the spotlight at all
times.No one can quite tell.Calm down and learn
to be regular,ya perv.

What Kind of Smile are You?
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borderline

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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You are the pierced princess

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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Cocaine.
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Heart is Yellow

What Color is Your Heart?
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you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.

which happy bunny are you?
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Hopeless Flirt

What Kind of FLIRT are you?
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2003-04-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

Hooligan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

hey kids
sure you all liked those pictures...lol.
anyhoo...yeah ive decided to try and write the dream si have in here because kri has enlightened me about this.hee hee
well yesterday i had a dream that i had a baby again. (ewwww!) and i had it in my arms and then it like disapeared and i was looking all over for it and my mom was tehre and i think that the guy that i like was tehre (but i cant say, ask me at school) and i was looking for it in my shirt like it was suppoosed to be there. and then i took of my shirt and bra and then the guy started to examine me and like feel around for teh baby. yeah i know that sounds realyl strange but it wasnt THAT kinda dream...lol. yeah and then i wenmt outside to look for it and i still had no shirt on and then i went back inside all happy like i found it and it was inside...or something...and then something else happened with the guy...it was good ;) but i dont remember enough.
yeah so yesterday i told my dad mostly everything and now im not talking to him anymore and not going to see him. yesterday i thought i wanted to die...but now it seems lkike things are fine...is that normal? if the problem was fixable wouldnt i be sad that i dont have a real father?

2003-04-24T14:38:00.000-07:00

you're punk!

How can I label you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

You are a LAID-BACK VIRGIN.

What Kind of Virgin Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hey dude, you are the typical stoner kid. Put down
the bong and pick up a book once in a while.
Try the Yellow Pages --look up Rehab.

What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

Heath Ledger: You like them with a drop dead
gorgeous smile, cute accent and from the Land
Down Under.

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

muahahahahahahahahaha

Amateur movie! You might not be too experienced in
the way of sex...but chances are, you do enjoy
it (or the thought of it). We'll probably see
you in some home video that surfaces on the
internet one day.

What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

another quiz...im a loser...meh

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T12:59:00.000-07:00

i did a quiz to see what anime boobs i have! muaahahahahahaha

SEX APPEAL

(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-24T12:56:00.000-07:00

hahahaha i did a quiz about wat swear word i am!!

god you dumbass.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

hey kids
oh god ill just tell you everything that happened this weekend...well on thursday...vicky came over and we actually HAD A SLEEP OVER...haha. it was fun. i was supposed to go to pinochios with brad, justin and magan but vicky wasnt allowed. oh yeah and i taslked tohim that day(justin).i asked him if he liked me and hes like i think were friends now but leaning more towards more than friends, then he aksed me and i just said thatb i dont know him well enough. i dont have any feelings like that for him now. i dont think i ever will but who knows. anyways, then i added christine on msn so that we could talk and we did and now were friends again. hurray! then after vicky left i cleaned our house and ethn went to lisas...i drank some, not much but i have like no tolerance for alcohol...haha. plus i was smoking too(sorry!!!) that was dumb but hey. then i took the bus home a little fucked up, had some vodka to make me feel a bit better,a nd tehnh went babysitting. i made 20 bucks..haha. then i went to lisas again.haha. the day after, to make a long story short, lisas parents were gone for the weekend, she lives near a dep that sells us anthing, we had money, we called guys to come over, o yes and we picked some people up in a car. i got really FUCKED up. thus i had an eater hang over of my life....anyhoo...moms home, easter was boring
have a good day

2003-04-18T12:55:00.001-07:00

oh yeah abnd me and christine are friends again but i can talk now cause im busy byebye

2003-04-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

"911 For Peace"

It's in the paper every day
I see it in the headlines and I feel so sick, yeah
Another life leaves this world (this world) so full of hate
But short
Short on compassion
Short on humanity
Asking myself in vain, shaken by the shock,
"do we even have a chance?"

I don't wanna die
(I don't wanna kill)
I don't wanna kill
(I don't wanna die)
We are all human.
Let' start to prove it.

This is a plea for peace (world peace)
To the oppressors of the world and to
To the leaders of nations, corporate profit takers,
to the everday citizen
Greed, envy, fear, hate-- the competition has to stop.
When you see someone down, now's the time to pick them up
Set aside your differences and never look back, no

I don't wanna die
(I don't wanna kill)
I don't wanna kill
(I don't wanna die)
We are all human
It's time to prove it.

Isn't everybody tired of the fighting? (hey, hey)
Isn't everybody tired of the killing? (hey, hey)
Isn't everybody tired of the dying? (hey, hey)
Isn't everybody tired fo the hatred? (hey, hey)
Violence.. fighting... killing...dying.. aaaaaaah!!

(excerpt from Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech)

I don't wanna die
(I don't wanna kill)
I don't wanna kill
(I don't wanna die)
We are all human
It's time to prove it.

We are all human
It's time to prove it.
We are all human...
-anti-flag

they are like the best band. well my favorite.

2003-04-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

hey kids
yeah well today was cool...not much happned taht i xcan reememebr now but eyah. i was suppose to be going to fairview with vanessa but my mom deicded last minute that she wouldnt let me. now she has to go alone! nooooo! my mom and me got into this stupid fight about something...like i was supposed to be watching my brothers and teria(my neighboor) and then i told them to come into the back yard because they were like fucking around with something nad then my mom asked me why i made them move and i said that they were playing wth something so i told them to come into our yard...aand thenm she was like but why did tyou have to go get them?! and i was like what the hell mom they were playing withnsomething so i moved them! and then she got pised and styarted to yell and cry. i hate when she does that uits like im so horrible. whatever. am i that bad? i dont know.
robyyn was here before, we were talking about her and teh dude she likes. and other stuff....the we went on msn and she was talking to christine and shit and then she sent her a convo or somehting and it was about a fight that shes in wqith krysta or soething? anyways, she got pissed at robyn cause she told her that shes shes at my house and then christine got mad(i hope that shes not really pissed at you robyn!) i dont know. and then i was talking to christines friend and he was talking to her and then he told her some stuff that i was saying, i dont care whatever, i was just thinking after that like...i dont know...i just wish that we didnt have to be like hating eachother and we could just not be firneds if thats what has to happen and not hate weachother because it sucks when someone hates oyu, i dont hate her but when she says things about me i just dont plan to sit bakc andshit. eventually im going to hate her just because of all the shit thats happenning but id rather that that didnt happen because i dont think that shes all bad, although she seems to think that theres averyting wrong with me. it just sucks...whatever.
i went to my dads yesterday and slept there. as usual our morning was pretty crappya nd iyt just ended up us fightitn...i was crying at the bus stop, i saw kris and pat but i guess that they didnt notice. anyways, talk about happy things or just something else.
anyways...i dont know what else to say i guess ill just go
im trying to talk to christine to make up through lid butit didnt work...she doesnt wanna talk to me.
fuck it
i guess

2003-04-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

hey kids
well yeah i dont get vanessa gregorio is so weird. she satys after schoolo and tells steph and vane and people all these rumours. its sio dumb. people should just be concerned with themselves and theyre friends. whatever
i was talking to jeff and i real;iozed something. sex doesnt seem to mean anything to me. its not some special thing that im savonig for someone, it doesnt seem special for me...whatever...im bored
i want to write about everyone soon

2003-04-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

Hety guys
I just really need to vent right now. The war in iraq is really bothering me. But its not just the fact that this is happening but all the people who seem to think that this is the best thing to do. People who would go as far as to get upset with someone for wearing a « no blood for oil » shirt. I wear it and youd be surprised at what some people would say or do. Its actually very strange because its almost like they don’t think that you can see thenm staring at you or talking to the person next to you. Sometimes I feel like just telling people to just say everything. Just to say what they think and not keep it inside or just say it quietly to whoever your with. That whats wrong with today. People need to say what they think. That’s how close-minded people are made. Even if you don’t share the same opinion as me then tell it to me anyways, all the better thath way we could borh have a new view of everything and then we wont think that the wayu thatw e think is the only way. Say what you think , don’t be afraid. I am so sick of seeing all the CNN bullshit. I am so sick of looking in the newspaper and seeing the war. I just wish that it could all be over. How can anyone feel perfectly pok with sending people out to war like that to die or kill. No one normally wants to kill. Its not in human nature to want to kill other human beings, which just proves my point more, there is something wrong here. Something is going on that we don’t know about. Its not normal for our species to think the way that we do. I am so tired of all the fighting. Im so tired of all the killing. So tired of all the hatred. Iots not right. I wish that peopl could just open their minds to other possibilities. I wish that people could just look past what society thinks is right or what mommy and daddy rold them aboutr war. I just wish that we could all just have a discussion with people.i wish trhat I could stop and talk to everyone I see and ask them about the war or share my thoughts with them. That’s what I try to do through the shirt I wear, but people seem to be so hateful. They just close off and don’t even think about what it says. (I can believe that im writing so much) I get so mad when I see people making ignorant statements, they don’t even know what theyre talking about and they’ll just say whether or not theyre for or against the war. Yes obvuiously we all don’t like war, no one does, wlel some do if money is involved. Anyways, just look into things before you form your opinion. Look at all aspects of what you are saying, don’t make an idiot of yourself. Have reasons fior things otherwise you are no better than BUSH. The war makes no sense. Everyone thinks that what bush is doing for iraq is the best they could do. Yeah ok, they say that saddfam is dangerous, and I admit that what the dictator sadam was doing is truly horrible but don’t be blinded by patrinism. Don’t think that the us is doing this out of the gooodness of theyre heart to help the poor iraquis. More like the poor iraquis sitting on trillions of dollars worth of oil. More like poor little iraquiz sitting on trillions of dollars worth of oil ruled by a leader that may hurt the americanb economy. They just want to replace him with some puppet president so that way the us can get all the oil that they want. Yeahy sure I read in the newspaper that colin powel said that they were not planning to put a puppet government in iraq. Well its not like hes going to come out and say that they pkabn to mold Iraq into what is good for them. Hmm…another aspect of the war that makes no sense. They say that they were going in because they were saying that sadam had dangerous weapons. Now that’s crap because they styated more than once that the us troops were going in regardless of whether or not they would find anything. Secondly if they were so worried that he would attack…why would they attack his country? Is hussein is as ruthless as it I said then he would probably have no problem bombing his own people in killing some americans. He would have no problem sending a bomb into the states. The CIA reported that iraq was not dangerous to countries outside of their border unless they were attacked. (hmm, I wonder why they would go in there then? OIL) almost 50% of iraq’s population is made up of children under the age of 15. These kids do not deserve to be or[phaned, traumatized or killed. Yeah im sure that saddam was doing some fucked up things for those kids but war is at no comparison. And if the americans truly ddi care about the iraquis then they qwould have taken off the sanctions that were put on these people in the first gurl war. These sanctions have stopped the people from having adequate food, water and medical treatement. I TRULY THIS WAR. I have the perfect way to describe the american government. they do whats good right now. They just think of the immediate results for them, not whast could result from their actions in the future. Like in the iraq and iran dispute, the americans took turns helping each sid eof that one. Whichever was convenient. They supplied eacxh side with military equipment. Right, the americans are doing the right thing in this war. Sure they wanna help the iraqui people. George bush is no better than any of tyem. He is the terrorist.

2003-04-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

anyhoo...on friday i went to cats party! yay! that was fun. we wore these little bunny things and we went out side and then we walked to blockbuster and i think we made a lot of people nervous. lol it was real fun exept for the fact that i got a lot of confetti in my pants and shirt...hee hee and then i ran up to kaleigh and put a lot in his pants...fun fun fun. but tehn adrian said that kaleigh wnated me...uhhhhhhh... i dont rememeber what he was doing but yeah. whoa. anyhoo...i have to go and watch some children now so that i can make money..lol...
muah!

2003-04-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

hey dudes
how are you guys?!/?! im good
i decided to look at christines blogger today, i dont know why...lol. so robyn told her that i asked her iof she got a new blogger because ive been checking her sand theres nothign in it?!...uhhh no i did not. just thought that i would get that straight because i know tghat if christine doesnt read it then robyn will and tell her (same thing). and i didnt get namarta after you. she did it on her own. i dont hink that was right. she went up to christine and bitched at her for calling me a bitch...i mean thanks for trying to stand up for me, but dont sink to her level.

2003-04-06T16:13:00.000-07:00

hey kids
i was reading my blog and i realized something...i sound like im suicidal...the thing with my dad is really making me upset. im not sure what else to do its not that christine is maing me wanna die, but you know when your life is bad and you dont think it could get much worse? well mine did. its just everything together and i dont know how to handle it. christine doesnt really bother me its just that i dont need anything else to worry about. i dont think she bugs me now anymore...on friday i cried for 2 hours and i dont know what was making me so sad. i just feel like i have nowhere to go. my mom made me go to the psychiatrist and she says that im real deprssed so ive made an illusion that im not depressed because im not ready to handle everything. i dont know how i feel.
anyways...today i went to kris's huse to work on the english thing. thats about it.

2003-04-03T17:58:00.000-08:00

hey kids
well not much ahppened today...im goign to see a man apart with vane! yay! hotness! but sadly i have to go talk to this chick because im depressed with my mom, last time she saw the cuts shes like: "what are you doing to yourself! you know what ui diont care!" yeah...ok...i try not to do that anymore, but with my dada nd that faget christine...well i have to go now because i dont like talking about it because it makes me feel like

2003-04-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHH CHRISTINE STOP READING MY BLOGGER!

2003-04-01T16:14:00.000-08:00

hey guys...i dont want to borwe you all by talking about chrostine anymore becaus ei cant even bring my self to read her loooong ass bloggers about me. its all the same ahit over again. she can t even spell. it gets real annoying wen some1 talk like dis AND rites like dis all the fukin time. anyhoo...in other news i have stolen jeffs bracelet and i decided to never give it back...hee hee hee

ps
christine...i dont even have the time to write everything i9 have to say, all i have to say is that what i meant about talk to me ytourself was to tell me what your thinking now im perosn instead of doing it over the net, but as usual that would be too mature for your little brain...have a nice life you fucking "losa" haha

2003-03-31T12:22:00.000-08:00

may i add that when christine ended her blog she worte that she wasnt trying to be a hater...wow how fucking compassionate can you get...eww..i digust myself sometimes
chrostine do you really think that people talk about you that much? well they dont...its not worth it ...your not as importanmt as you think you are...if you think that steph should come up to you and say the b7ullshit you think she says, then why dont you do the same...ior even better say something to me...i know you wont cause you know im right. eww..i just asked her to talk to me...ahhhhhhhh

2003-03-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

Well I just read christines blogger…would you all like to see it?
hey blogga!
lol, im in such a happy mood!!!! woo-hoo!!! it wuz bout time da hypocrite did sumthin ta really pull my triggaz so dat i can bitch @ her n neva talk ta her again! her n her lil side-kick stephanie berezwick(n i don give a fuck if das not how ta spell ya name). da lil gossipa! n in case stephanie getz a chance ta see this, even some a ya closest friendz admit dat uz a gossipa. but u shouldnt be surprised, goin round askin people "so watz goin on wit u n so n so? so n so told me blah blah blah" n ya know wat else some a ya closest friendz say bout u?! U CANT KEEP A SECRET! but das ok, u should know dat as well. thank God ya only 1/2! ya momz prolly part lebanese(sorry my lebanese people!) 2. n bout melissa, ta think she bitched @ me cuz yuli wuz cryin cuz i "told" her dat jean-marc n janna were goin out cuz i saw em holdin handz durin da science fair. well guess wat?! i called yuli afta school n asked her if it wuz true. n she said a lil sumthin dat goez like this, "well if they said dat u were spreadin rumorz then das really stupid cuz all u did wuz ask me if jean-marc n janna were goin out cuz u saw em holdin handz 4 3 SECONDZ. also, they'd be da 1z startin rumorz by sayin "yuli wuz cryin cuza u!" cuz i wuznt even cryin. i only cried once n dat wuz right afta da break-up b4 i even spoke ta u" good job melissa! good job @ bein wrong az usual! n even if yuli really did cry, who da fuck do u think u r bitchin @ me?!?!?!?! it had NOTHIN ta do wit u. also, u were sposed ta be a sista. sistaz don bitch @ eachotha cuza otha peoplez problemz. n thank God im done wit da motha who pretendz like she likez me, talkz behind my back, n when melissa goes n tellz her dat i said "she can say it ta my face", then her mothaz like "she can come n talk bout it ta me" ya, like i'd go through da effort. also, my mom did say dat im way prettia than u but da only reason y i didnt tell u dat wuz cuz i wannid u ta think dat my mom really liked u. lol, well im out,
byebyez
Luv Alwayz,
chrissy~masreya
~xOxOxO~
- * - P e A c E - * -
p.s.:n no, i aint bashin nobody. im jus tellin da truth n im sorry if it seemz like im a hata but das da las thin dat i am. iss not like im wishin bad luck a unhappiness upon n e 1, im jus tellin it az it is.

Yeah well I was thinking…well we hang out with the same people and it doesn’t make any sense not to talk to eachother right? Well now ive c hanged my mind. I thought that she really was a little more mature than that but as usual I give her too much credit. She accuses one of my best friends since like grade kindergarden calling her a gossiper and what are you doing christine? What do you do ALL THE FUCKING TIME christne? You are the biggest gosiper I know. Steph is not a gossiper. And you make it worse by saying that her friends think that too. Well you know I wish that I could tell you what you « close » friends say about you but im better than that. I have the ciourtesy to not hurt you like that. If your trying to not look like the bad one in this situation I think that its too late. You make yourself sound like a self-centered bitch, rascist, and cold. You made steph cry you know? Is that what you wanted? I don’t even think you know because when you talk you don’t think you just talk and that’s why you wont have many friends in the end. Steph didn’t do anything wrong in this. She dioesnt like you get over it. I don’t like you, get over it. Lotsa people don’t like you, get over it. Yeah some people don’t have their reasons for not liking you but at least me and steph do, I think that you should give us credit for giving you a chance. Iof I were you I would just stop bitrching because if you keep it up A LOT of people are going to stop ebing friends with you. If it came down to you or steph I don’t think many opeople would choose you. So just stop rtrying to convince people that you are right in thinhking what you think. And please please, for the love of god please stop bitching about my mom. Just shut the fuck up about that. She doesn’t like you, just shut up. And this shit about your mom not liking me for real, yeah that’s why she told me that I was like your sister and if I ever wanted to move in I could. I don’t think that if your mom really didn’t like me she would gop that far to try and convince me that she did. And that bullshit about your mom thinking that yiour prettier than me…man you really should think before you talk, you just sound like some little kid trying to hurt my feelings.of course your mom thinks your prettier than me, shes your mom. Im not saying that your ugly, because I actually think that you can be pretty, but your personality ruins it. Ans whats that abpout me being wrong again? Yeah sure yulan wasn’t crying because of what you said, but im sure it didn’t make things any better for her. Like I said you need to think before you talk ok? And you don’t like jm at all so its not fair for you to say things like that because no matter what your not going to make him look good in the end. So whats this about being wrong again? Maybe I was wrong about changing my first impression of you, I thought that you were a rascist bitch, but I never got to know you and I thought thatw as wrong so I decided to talk to you, you didn’t seem that bad…so I stayed your friend. The more I hung pout with you the more I liked you but the morwe I didn’t like you. We got closer but as that happened I realized that you were not such a great person. Well im finished now, hope you read this, get mad, bitch about it, act mad, because I find it rather entertaining.and please leave steph alone. And stop tring to convince my friends that there is something wrong with me, because you cant win.
Anywyas, I just had to say thatbyou guys…welli unfortunately have to go and study for history…grrrr….well ill see you all tomorrow. Muah!

ps
i just wanted to say to christine that steph might try to fit in but a lot of people have that problem, thers nothing wrong with that...you best friend robyn does that...im cool with it. it doesnt matter. and steph is asking people about it because she is worried, like most peopel would when they hear things like that...and they wouild tell her if they thought so because they are her real friends...plus they probably didnt even say that, youb exagerate things a lot.

2003-03-20T18:00:00.000-08:00

oh yes i just wanted to let you all know that mer and christyine are not friends anymore so you dont havwe to ask me

2003-03-20T17:59:00.000-08:00

damn i am so sick of the war! ITS ON EVERY CHANNEL! its like theyre trying to force us to feel emotionally involved and patriotic and all that bullshit. anyways im not going to talk about war because i am sick of it and if your readong this then im sure that you dont wanna hear it. anyhoo...i dont have much to say so ill just go now. im just writing because i am angry and bored because the tv is full of lies and deceit...ahhhhhhh....good night

2003-03-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

hey everyone
today was pretty fun im at lisas huse now and we had some beer! yay! but i dont really like the taste so yeah...eww.
i went to tasha huse and so did chrissy lisa rysa falon mike and julien(hotness!!!!!).. anyways...yeah we didnt do too muchy but sadly i had a cigarette..silly moi...o well robably going to have some more later...oops. hee hee. well i want to go now because yeah...beer...

2003-03-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

anyways...if you didnt read my last entries then yeah...uhhh i dont really know what to say now because i pretty much poured my heart out there
see you some time

2003-03-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

what is written bellow is something that i wrote yesterday...

2003-03-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

I was watching the used video for like the 100th time now…shit I am in love with burt. I wish that I could meet him! Ahhh! Hes so fucking hot! Anyways…while I was watching I decided to write what I am thinking because lately a lot of things have been going through my mind and I don’t feel like writing them in my diary. (knowing nothing is better than knowing it all) I was thinking about that line from a song by the used. I listen to that song a lot and almost every time that I listen to it I start to cry. Its called on my own. I was thinking about that line and then I was wondering if I would really like it better not knowing why my parents split up, or the fights that they had, or what my dad says to my mom about me behind my back. Sometimes im glad that my mom tells me but im not sure if its really what would be best. It hurts to know these things even when my mom doesn’t tell me them to try and get me upset, she feels that I should know. If I were in her place I think that id want to do the same. That’s also why I don’t think that I will ever want to have kids, besides the pain of childbirth. I don’t think that I would make a good parent at all. I have the patience for children but I just couldn’t not tell them things and keep things hidden and I have never experienced what its like to see 2 people who are truly in love. I don’t know if that is something that really did effect me but I think that I was a bit moved. I also felt a little betrayed by my parents when I found out that they had been thinking about getting a divorce for a long time, well just my mom, but I felt that I was being deceived. I thought that I knew what love was and how it felt and how it made people feel, but when I heard that from my mother I felt that they were putting up a face for us so that we would never see what was really going on. And I don’t blame my mother for anything that she has ever done, said or thought. I truly love her with all my heart and I am so happy that she was the one that I got to go through this with because often I think about this stuff and realize that if my mother was someone else I would probably be so fucked up I would rather die. I did think one day that I wanted to do and that it was best for me, but then I thought of mom first. My brothers next and friends, but my mom first. She was the one that made me feel sop loved that if I were to go away she would not be able to get through this without me, the same way that I felt about her. I don’t know if this is true but I like to think that it is and my mother makes me feel; that way. To be completely honest I didn’t even consider my fathers reaction to me dying. I knew that it would break his heart, and when I was thinking like this I wanted that so badly. I felt that I was hurt so badly by him that I wanted to get back at him by taking my life. I wrote things down that I wanted him to find when he found my blood covered corpse. I wrote things down like this is your fault. I wanted to hurt him. And I hate how he thinks that things are getting better between us. Theyre not. We are putting masks on again. But this time its not to deceive my brothers into thinking that their sister and father have a great relationship, neither would they believe such an act, we(or at least I) am putting on a mask to deceive myself. I can no longer bear how I feel about my father. It is not that I hate him. I just don’t know how to cope with what is happening and I don’t like not being in control of how I am feeling because then I feel to vulnerable, and I am afraid of getting hurt. Of course he thinks that things are getting better because he is so ignorant to what I say. I even drop hints to him that even mike could pick up ion our conversations and maybe he sees them and we are both putting on masks. I think that I like being artificial when it comes to family. I cant have a loving real relationship with him now. I am too hurt and the scars ar3e too deep and I cant express how I feel because in opening up to him I feel vulnerable again. And being vulnerable around my dad is never good, he takes advantage of it. I show him my true feelings and he says how I shouldn’t feel that way and then I am left feeling trampled on. But what frustrates me even more is that he doesn’t understand what I feel. He doesn’t understand why I am doing what im doing. He doesn’t understand why I am so hurt. He doesn’t understand why I think that what I am doing makes sense. He never understands me. He thinks he does but he doesnt want to go deep enough to look at his own fault. When he says that he is sorry for something he said or did he doesn’t understand why that hurt me. All he knows is that if he says sorry then I will like him again. And I am sorry to say but I really wish that I could believe him again. But I cant. I see beyond his fake feelings. He is a liar, I hate him. He doesn’t know what he does to me or he doesn’t care I don’t know which one it is and that makes me feel worse.i don’t like talking about what I feel to anyone because I can do this on my own. If I want your help ill ask. If I need to talk I will fucking tell you when I wanna tell you what I feel. You wont understand anyways. As far as my dad is concerned my life is going down the drain and he doesnt even try to hide that from me. He could at least keep his plastic personality for that because I need that support right now. I don’t need help! But I need support. In the car with my father I found the perfect way to explain our relationship and how it will always be. We do not have a personal relationship. We are related and that is why we go see each other. I don’t feel cared for by him and I don’t care for him. But I love him because I feel that I should and if I feel that I don’t I have no idea what to do about it so again I have to become fake. And I hate fake. I hate how I have to change the way I am to be around him. I hate the fact that what I have to bear is something that I would normally hate even considering. But I do it anyways because he is my dad. Theres that phrase again, hes your dad, give him a chance. Well you know what? Im sick of fucking chances. Why don’t I get one from him. He tells me to have a good attitude when I go there and I know for a fact that when I come over he is not in a optimistic mood. He must really think that i am stupid. I am stupid. I don’t know why I am putting up with whats happening. O yeah, he my dad. That is what keeps me there. Even while I am typing this I almost yelling it out while I write. I am on the verge of tears. You see what this does to me? Do you understand now why I don’t wanna fucking talk to you. Its not because I have a [problem I just don’t like feeling this way because its supposed to get better when he goes away not worse. And no you don’t understand what I am going through. Ok, you’ve been in a divorce too? You daddy doesn’t like you? No you cant relate. Its not that simple my dad is a very different person. The way that he can twist you to make you feel is unbelievable. He does it to me he does nit to my mom. thats what I hate the most. I cant even give him this letter if I wanted to because he has got me in such a twist that i am blaming me for this! And if I give him this letter I will feel bad!!! Is that right? Is that normal? I don’t think that you cam relate now…no? yeah that’s what I thought. Well I want to go now because I feel better having written this and that’s all I wanted to do because doing anymore what be doing him a favor and that’s not what im trying to do, hes not getting anymore chances from me to tear up my heart with. Good bye

2003-03-03T13:33:00.000-08:00

hey guys
im finally talking to people on msn its been awhile...im even tralking to jeff...he doesnt hang out with us much now so its cool to talk to him. and christine too....i miss her so much and ive only not seen her for like 2 days...and vanessa! i wanna see vanessa! and lisa too and cassandra and cat and kris and pat anmd ahhhhhhhhhhh
ok im done
yeah well im cold in this house because i dont like to move because the way that i feel keeps me from haveing a good mood. its like the whole aura of the house makes me feel drowsy and sick. but i also have a cold so i feel like shit as it is
i want to go now because i dont feel like typing because for some reason i feel tears welling up in my eyes and i cant see the keyboard soon

2003-02-28T16:14:00.000-08:00

hello again everyone
i am writing because i am really bored and pissed because i was supposed to go to a sdance at the Y but i cant because my mom lent her car to her firend so i have no way of getting there! ahhh! whaveter...i dont really like dances anyways...i just wanted to go because i want to go see my friends...but i guess that i cant now. fuck thats pissing me off...whatever. i have to go now and wallow in my own self-pity

2003-02-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

if you are wondering what i am referring to in the title of my blog its from a song:
the cup is not half empty as pesimists say
as far as he sees nothings left in the cup
a whole cup of nothing for him to endure
since the voice of ambitions long since been shut up
the used

anyways...well my mood hasnt changed at all since last time. i have just gotten the ability back to hide my emotions again. past asked me in math class if i was ok because of yesterday, i said yeah thats just because if i said no then id have to tell him what was wrong and i dont like talking about myself
wasnt i a people person? i thought i was
anyhoo...so i dont really know whats wrong with me and i dont know how to explain it and when i think about it so that i can think of some way to exklain it i just get upset. i told pat to read my blog now so that way i can sorta say things...you all probably have no idea what the hell im talking about and neither do i...i just talk and type what i think
oh fuck a cow! the spongemonkeys are trying to jump on the kittens bandwagon
anyways...i dont know if im grounded or not...i guess it doesnt matter anyways becauise im not really in thye mood for doing anything with people...i dont even really hang out wioth anyone right now...well i guess that i hang out with leigh michou and andrea lots now but even then i kinda just leave sometimes and go listen to music, i dont know if listening to music alone makes me feel better or worse about the way that im feeling but thats what i wanna do when i feel like that so i do it. im dont know what else to think i dont know what else to say and i dont know what else to do so i will wirte later when i have somehting to talk about so that i just dont babble about nothing like im doing right...now

2003-02-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

hey guys..shit i havent written in a long time...do you guys even read this anymore??? whatever. so my life hasnt really changed since before, cept now i am having a harder time deal;ing with it. lately i just sorta turn off and sit all alone. patrick and kristalyn asked me what was wrong and i wanted to tell them but i knew that if i started to talk i would cry and i dont want people to see me like that. even just telkling them that i didnt wanna talk about it almost made me cry. i dont knowwhats wrong with me, normally i can hold up so well. maybe its because my dad has been trying to open me up. i dont want to let him inside, he doesnt deserve it and i dont wanna tell him. it hurts to thin about it but sometimes i cant avoid the thought. even now im feeling like shit, but soon ill probably be just fine again.
i didnt go to my das thios week becayuse i had to much work to do! stupid english! i hate that. i mean i liked the idea of the project but i didnt really have enough time to do a really good job
today in espanolo i got called in to mr gellars office. them and their bullshit about IB...how hard are you trying ona scale of one to ten? shut the fuck up. you dont really care about me. just go away. i hate school right now. sure i need it to do something in life thats why im going, but i fucking hate it. french is gay and the teacher thinks that its comical to ridicule me in front of the class. i dont mind sometimes but other times i just feel like hes only picking on me. i dont know if its the way i dress, how i act or he just decides for no reason. well at least i9t doesnt get me down because i have learned to not let verbal things hurt me, well not with my dad, but thats a different story. in a way now i can thank my dad because he prepared me for tyhe horrible thing called life. he made me so screwd up that i either completely open up to someone or i just shut down, maybe thats a good thing, sometimes its not. i did do that with patrick and look what happened...i did forgive him tohough! im not mad! im just saying that now i find it hard for me to open up to him, not that i just dont trust him its that...i cant really explain it but thats how i work. well i have to go eat now with the other people who live in thsi house...ill write later because i have to talk to someone.

2003-01-17T18:44:00.000-08:00

i dont even know if anyone reads my blog anymore...
lately ive been feeling like being alone.
i just stay in my room. if i come out then i get blammed for something or i get reminded of the shit that is my life.
i dont know why but i just like to be alone sometimes because i feel depressed and i dont want to cry so i just listen to music and try to feel better.
its so hard to be alone sometimes.
i think that andrea is stalking me.
i dont know but shes always around
and she insists that i write her notes
and she knows my locker combo
and she insisrts on putting my notes in my locker and shit
meh
i dont know
couple of my friends think that shes stalking me too
o well
dont ask why im writting like this
it sucks because im not hanging out with cat and kris and pat and vicky much now
i dont get invited to do stuff
i guess i dont blame them
why go out of their way
ive been hanging out with people in sec 4 and 5 so im not arounbd much
sucks
well now i only go to see my dad once a week so tahts good
we get along a lot better
but we still fight
and he says things about mom
i camnt say anything back
because i dont know if hell get mad or cry
sometimes i feel bad for him
and then other times i dont care
i wish i never cared
life would be easier if i could choose when to feel
sometimes i dont feel like going on
but thats over now
i dont feel that way
not anymore
live in the moment because that moment could be your last
does anyone still read this?
o yes
i dont like bryan clarke anymore
no i dont
maybe a little but not much
i dont know who i like now though
,maybe no one
i dont want to waste my time
i wanted to do somethingtonight but now i cant
i have to stay in the huse alone
sometimes i wish that i could really write everything in here
but i know i cant
things you wouldnt understand
but no one reads this...

2003-01-02T18:03:00.000-08:00

so they are friends again
i think this time
ill sit back and watch.

2003-01-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

The fist clenched around my heart
loosens a little, and I gasp
brightness; but it tightens again.
When have i never not loved
the pain of love?
But this has moved

Past love to mania.
This has the stong clench of the mad man,
this is gripping the ledge of unreason, before
plunging howling into the abyss.

Hold hard then heart.
This way at least you live.

2003-01-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

My place was always beside you
And i wish that i didnt need you so bad
Your face just won't go away.

2002-12-24T12:20:00.000-08:00

hey guys!
sorry i havent wrotten in a while but thats because i made a new blog but its not really what happens to me its more of just my thoughts. i wont write them here though.
well yesterday i wnet shopping! yay! and i got lotsa stuff from amnesia. hurray. well i dont really care about christmas more than any other day so im not all exited. ah well....im going to church today...i go for my mom not because i want to. i have to go make brownies ok?
buh bye! MUAH!

lucky you are.

2002-12-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

ahhh! i hate TV! ahhhhh! i was watching the music channel...and christina auguelera came on...shit shes so...ugh. people say that its a bad influence for children but you know what? thats the way it is. your a girla nd you want to go somewhere...you cant be fat, you have to be pretty adn "god" forbid that you wear clothes. Girls always get critisezed for things. a guy takes off his shirt in a video(like ricky martin) no one says anything but when christina does it shes a slut. not saying necesaraly that what she did was the best thing but i think that she was trying to prove a point. its pathetic how ehen we see something like that on tv like that and we think...slut. shes not a slut. its sad how even girls use that word. if a chick sings about being dirty then theyre a slut. but when nelly sings a song about taking off your clothes hes cool.i got sick of watching that channel so i watched something else and then one of those advertisements came on for 3rd world countries. dont get my wrong i feel bad for them and if i could i would give them money but i really dont hink that much money goes to anyone. well im going to go now so buh bye

2002-12-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

you are all so lucky to not see what i see. i jump when you touich me because i am always surrounded i am constantly scared. i cant talk abouty it because it will get worse but i just want you to know how lucky you all are.
serperte

2002-12-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

hey you guys! well now i can talk about bryan in my blog even if he reads it...he knows i like him...i told him. but i dont know if i do anymore. i think that i liked being his friend, and since i think hes hot (hehe) then maybe i wnated to be more. i think i still do now but thats not going to happen now. wont write it here but...yeah. anyways...i like someone else...i wont say who but i think that a lot of you guys know who he is... well thats ok anyways, we played king of the mountain at lunch! woo hoo! jeff played...ahh! he like killed me. i flipped over as i rolled down the hill like everytime he pushed me...ahhh...im broken. anyways i won in the end though! yeah...anyways i have to go and come back now

2002-12-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

hey everyone
im feeling a little weird lately...ahhh! emily is scraring me andi dont know what to do. she thinks that im going to help her but i cant...what she wants me to do is too much. and geoffrey is acting a bit crazy and he keeps telling me things that i cant undertsnad...he acts like im supposed to know everything. i dont know what happened because i wasnt there! ahhh! ok sorry about that you guys...dont worry...none of you know what im talking about. well i think i have to go soon but just you all be happy that you all dont see all the things that i see...i havent been sleeping...ok im going to get in shit now...bye bye.

2002-11-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

sorry about the tittle but thats how i feel right now. yeah i dont care if he reads my blog...if he reads this good. yeah well he doesnt like christine now...thats weird because before he went to this school he talked to her often...if he doesnt like her then why is she on his list? and why does he not like her now that he goes to our school? is it maybe because of jeff and jm? wait! he doesnt have reason. right? as you say "i dont know why i just dont". yeah sure. whatever. and then theres parminder with all her bullshit. why doesnt she like christine? i dont know either because she cant really give a reason. "shes fat" is not a reason. "shes annoying" is a reason for some people. ok if oyu dont like her thenj shut up about it. dont make fun of her...think of better things to talk about. then theres phil and those fags who actually follow her and me around to m ake fun of her...what the hell?! if shes "such a loser" then go back to talkng about how hot you think you are and leave her alone. the worst part about them is that once christine leaves they come and talk to me! yeah just go and make my feinds feel like shit and then talk to me?!?! NO!!! shit yuou guys i am sooo pissed. then theres shawn. THE WORST OF THEM ALL. this kid used to call christione and talk to her a lot but now he stopped liking her and he even makes fun of her! what the fuck?! he just said that becaiuse his friends dont like her and you know if hes not like his friends...well i dont know...he might...i really dont know but i think to him it must be bad. thats pathetic. you change your opinion of someone becaiuse of what your friends think? cant we all stop hating?

"Punk By The Book"

Covered in leather, or plaid patches, or metal studs
Your hair is dyed or spiked with glue
You only talk to those who look and act the way you do
Cause you think you're so fuckin' cool
Punk. Punk. Punk.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
You say that punk to you is what's in your mind not what you
wear, but you know you're so full of shit
You scoff at how the cops treat you, but they're no worse than
dicks like you! I just can't understand what you're thinking.
Book. Book. Book.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
Punk by the book.
Book. Book. Book.
You're punk by the book...Hey! Hey!
You're punk by the book...Hey! Hey!
You're punk by the book! Book!

yeah thats a great song...lots of people like that. we all have to just stop hating eachother. who cares? like when you dont like something fine. have a good reason. and if you see a rapper wearing a skate shirt then cool. who cares? it doesnt matter! well i have to go before i get mad about somehting else and say something that i regret.

2002-11-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

heyllo!
well im at someone elses huse because im babysitting for them! yay! cat...what couple were you talking about in your dream?? you said that there was a couple who was in your dream but theyre not together in reality...who??? well anyways i had a REALLy weird dream last night but im not going to talk about it. yeah well im feeling more happy now...i dont care about jeff and vic...theres no point caring. he doesnt care and im sure she doesnt. so yeah...but im ok now. just the family shit happening now. but i dont think that any of that shit will ever change. i dont want to care about it because theres no point. it just hurts. my dad says sorry for the way he treats me but then he does it again. sometimes i wish that he wouldnt say sorry because then if he didnt then it wouldnt hurt so much when he did it again. its even worse because as far as hes concerned hes not doing anythiung wrong and what he says is ok. wellim not going to talk much about it because it makes me sad and i dont like being sad. so... BE HAPPY! i think that all the people who read my blogger know who i like so...exept bryan...well i dont know if he reads this anymore. just in case ill call him...uhh...bob...well i dont know if bob likes me...no one knows who he likes anyways...grrr...ahhh! anyways. well if he even does like anyone i doubt that its me...theres this guy nathan though...he likes me now. dont like him because he has treated some of my friends like shit in the past so i cant exactly just forget about all that. he wants to go out with me...dont think so. whatever. i have to go now because i think that the little things im watching want to eat something...what a way to spend my day off...watching stupid little things...hate it...whatever my mom volunteered me...she doesnt ask me if i want to do things for people most of the time...if she did id probably barely ever do shit for people....anyways...you know whats funny? trying to explain to christine what punk is...hahahaha...its funny too vbecause she tries to explain why "bling-bling" is cool...hahaha..well im going to leave now! later

2002-11-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

hi again!
well...lately i have been feeling really shitty. its just because if jeff and my family is all retartded. i dont know what to do or where to go. itry to do things that will get my mind off of being at home but most of the time it just doesnt work. it just comes back and i cant even have fun anymore. i dont like feeling like this, but i cant help it. my dad keeps fighting with my mom and some how its always my fault at the end. i cant even do anything...all i do is ask if i can go to kris's huse and he freaks out and he yells at me and then just tells me to get out and go see whoever i want because he says he knows thati hate him and that i hate being with him so ishoulfd just go. he did that to me at the movies too...i front of like a bunch of people. for something stupid. i just wanst hungry so i said that he didnt have to buy me food...and he got all pissed he shoved the ticket for the movie taht we were going to see in my face and told me to go away and find a friend to go see the movie with because he didnt care where i went. i hate that...it always happens...plus he was fighting with everyone rught before jeff called and said that he was going to break up with me...i mean i was alr5eady crying because pf my dad so...yeah jeff still thinks im mad at him. i am mad at him and just a bitsad about it because of what happened...i think that at the end we will be friends...bryan was trying to make me feel better. bryan is cool...yeah im not going to talk about him too much. well...im tired and i want to go to bed now...zzzzzzz

2002-11-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

heyllo
why isnt anyone writing in their blogs?!?!?! hahaha! i have nothing to read ahhh! ok...whoa...yeah well me and jeff broke up. we were better as friends. whatcha gonna do? whatever! so i went to go and see harry potter! scary! i screamed and i bashed heads with my brother! kris how do you make your blogger so cool?! yeah well im at my dads...ughh. that sucks ASS! speaking of asses...there is nothing wring with slapping asses...its like shaking hands...lol. yeah. i am not a wuss! you hear that bryan! i did it and you didnt so ha! ha! and jeff too! i did it! you guys are wusses!!!! ahahaha! muahahahahaha! yeah well i have to go and calm down now.

2002-11-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

heyllo
how are you all???
im pretty good. i hate french class!!! that guy is such an asshole! every time i say something he gets all pissy and shit and tells me to stay home and watch cartoons...maybe one day ill just do that...grrrr. guess what?! cat waled me ALL THE WAY HOME!!! wow all the wayfrom school to! wowee! then my mom gave her a lift back to school because she had violin lessons. yeah and we talked and everything cool! we both think that kris and pat are going to last a very long time...hehehe cool! they are sooo cute and i think that pat REALLY likes her a lot...im sure that kris likes pat a lot too. you know what sucks??? i think that our group of friends at school are sorta starting drift apart! cat thinks so a bit too...like last yearlike jm and jason and jeff all used to sit with us (me and cat and kris and elyse and tanya and faye, etc) but now that bryan goes to our school and jm is dating yulan, jeff and people sit with yulan sam *shudder* and janna and charlotte *shudder* and other people so they left, and now elyse and tanya and them sorta like dont come with us as often and cat sorta goes off with guys and pat and kris...yeah. then theres me and vicky and we just sorta go around with everyone a little bit...i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing...i hope that its a good thing...well now i am on the phone with vicky and now were talking about this guy nathan that likes christine...hes like a stalker and everything...

2002-11-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

pay no attention to the time or date! my blogger is in japanese time! hahahaha...yeah...parm is fucking gay...she keeps bugging chrissy and then when i talk to her she just gets pissed!!! ahhhh! and shes sooooo hairy!!! ewwww....yeah. i was supposed to go to jeffs today...but i couldnt! :'( i wanted to go but i had to babysit my brothers. grrrr....but christine called jeff but bryan and jm and some guy was there...so he had to go..it was funny because jm answered the phone and christine was freaking out...mauahahahahaha...jeff pulled a david though..grrrr...not that you all know what that is but chrissy knows. hahahaha....yeah...ahhhh i cried when i heard about that teacher...sadness...and i cried this morning because of a song that i was listening to...crying so much...pooey...yeah well i dont wnat to write anymore...i dont know how cat and kris can write so much...its crazy. i just realized that bryan reads my blog...hahaha
hello bryan! ya emm whatever

2002-11-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

the good news: i named my nickel Philip
the bad news: its a girl nickel!

2002-11-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

hey everyone!!!!!!!!
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED???? jeff asked me out! it was so cool because i asked him who he liked and he said that he would only go out with a few girls if they asked him out so i went through all the girls i could think of and then i asked him about me and he tried to change the subject...then he finally answered and he said ya. then he asked me and he did the same and then i told him that i liked him and yeah...the rest is obvious..hehe. well ya and im happy exept my stomach is all twisted..i dont know why. owwwww! ya well I LOVE CHRISTINE!!!! she is the coolest person and shes so nice and all you people who dont like her...poo on yopu because you dont know what your missing! well my brother needs the internet now so ill write when i get back to my moms.

2002-11-01T05:59:00.000-08:00

patrick is next to jm now...is he ok?

2002-11-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

im just here
waiting here
to catch you if you fall
i dont know why
i care so much
when i shouldnt care at all
-The Ataris

2002-11-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

broken heart again today
the flowers that i gave to you
have withered all away
i lie in bed awake at night
i wonder what went wrong
or even what went right
just when i opened up my heart
the one you used to love
came and ripped it all apart
-The Ataris

2002-11-01T05:55:00.000-08:00

you know hwta i HATE??? when people ask me why i do the things thaht i do...like wearing a tie or wearing the fork and the spoon...i just do those things because i want to!

you called me up last night in tears
and said youd missed me after all these years
but ive been waiting here so long
ive gotten over it since you ve been gone
-Reel Big Fish

2002-11-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

hey everyone!
halloween was yesterday! i got lots and lots of candy! and im in computer class now...thats the ONL>Y reason that i am up so early...im tired...gah. it was fun yesterday though because i didnt th8ink thaht we were going to get that much candy...BUT WE DID!!!!! it was sooo cool. cassandra had the coolest costume! exept christine was pissing a few people off when we were trick or treating because she was yelling and shit and some of the people at the doors were a little pissed as she left. i dont know if shes pissed at me or not but a few times yesterday it seemed like she was a little pissy...and i know that me, robyn and jenn werent the only ones who noticed it. whatever i didnt want to have any fights on halloween because it would suck. patrick is sitting next to me now....hes just sorta sitting there...GO SEE KRISSS!!!! ahhhh! o well he looks a little sad...or maybe hes been thinking about ...stuff...well im not feeling too happy today because of my dad, he was in a bad mood yesterday or somehting because when he came to pick me up he got pissed at me becaus ei want ready andi ididnt even know that hewas coming. he said that he told cass to give me the message but i guess she missunderstood. anyway...he was pissed for a dumb reason...and as usual he said he wanted to see me but then he just dropped me off at home and all he said was later and slammed the door.this is like a cut that keeps getting deeper and i cant make it stop because all it does is keep on coming back again...

2002-10-28T16:03:00.000-08:00

hello again everyone! vane is here(hehehe) inside joke with me and vanessa. well yeah today i didnt domuch...umm...we didnt have to go for our orals which is a good thing because i wasnt ready. same thing for french because i wasnt ready...wooohooo! crappy i dont think that this whole pretending thing is working for me...i just dont know what to do anymore.i have no way out...ill write more stuff later...haha...VANE is here! muahahahaha

2002-10-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

ok...i think im getting i=tired of always being depressed...i will stop writing it down because its not hgelping me or anyone else. today i went to mcdonalds for breakfast!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOO...wow...when was the last timei wrote that? cool. welli have to do the stupid project for bio and my oral for french is shit so im going to try and fix it...i think ill go back to the way i was before...pretending that nothing is wrong on the outside...it makes people feel better...maybe one day ill convince myself of that too.

2002-10-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

am i crazy?? i dont know whats wrong with me. i cant sleep well now. all i can do is think about whether or not people would care if i wasnt there...right now in leaning towards a yes. i dont want to hurt myself again but...i cant explain. my dad is being an asshole...no matter what i do its wrong. i used to have my mom there to defend me but now shes gone. i used to think that i could run to her with my problems but now i feel that i cant. ive tried before but then she got me a psychiatrist. i dont need that. i dont know who to talk to. i like to talk to christine but she doesnt know how it feels...but to be honest i dont even know what i want to hear at this point. maybe i just want to hear nothing...ever again. i hate feeling so confused...if i knew how to write down what i feel i would but i cant...

2002-10-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

I LOVE COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-10-21T17:00:00.000-07:00

how could someone who means so much to you hurt you so bad.
hey guys....sorry that i havent written in a very very long time. to b honest i havent been in the mood for writing. let me just say that i am not mad at anyone. i am just sad in my own way. yeah im sure that youa ll know about whart happened at heathers huse...i guess there was no way to avoid it. i figured it would happen eventually...thats why i left kris and pat to walk alone outside...i was going to stay with them but i thought that mayeb they would talk and then maybe they could...i dont know. i dont like pat anymore but i do...i think that its just because im trying so hard not to like him that im actually convincing myself that i dont....theres no point though...its like hed rather be with anyone BUT me...it used to hurt but now its like im almost used to that feeling...this isnt the first time that this has happened to me...god i dont know what to do anymore or how tpo feel....i just want you guys all to know that im not mad at any of you and i dont balme kris for doing what she did...pat is a great guy and i hope you guys work out well...ill just have to heal in my own way because thats how i work...i dont want to put any oressure oin anyone else exept for me...in some cases that could be bad becaus ethen i might do stupid things to myself buit thyen again...i dont care. God imagione what it might have been like if i hadnt broken up with pat in the first place. the only reason i did that was because i thought that he liked cat but then he told me thathe did like me more....pat told me yesterday that he doesnt like me LIKE THAT.....i guess im ok with that...its not like i have a choice or anything. maybe ill get what I want someday...hehe....jeff

2002-10-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

hello now!!!!!!!! i am at stephs huse! she wasnt at school today though because she was "sick". i can over here anyways though because she had to test me for the english project....i dont know if i did so well....i was "mounting stuff"...hehe. yeah well today was pretty fun because we had art and art is fun because i get to sit with elyse and vicky and jeff and yeah. i assed elyse, vicky, jeff, pat, cat, faye, tanya and meaghan today! wooo hoooo! i will try to do it more tomorow. today in art we were doing soapstone stuff...i forgot my stone again so i couldnt do anything so i helped vicky and elyse. guess what im making out of soapstine?!?!?! an E for elyse! and elyse is making an M for melissa. then once we get our marks well exange rocks! fun fun fun fun fun! me and jeff traded necklaces today! i love his necklace..its so pretty. but i forgot to give it back to him before i left so i still have it...hehe...i dont want to give it back!! he has mine still too....i hope he doesnt remember to ask me for his back...sniff sniff...then at lunch me and vicky waited for pat to finish getting tested by meaghan so that he could come outside with us. he gave vic his scarf...awww....its such a COOL scarf! hahahaha. its a SOCCER scarf! anyways...i was tired at lunch so i put my head on pats shoulder and vic said that it looked like we were going out! oops...i do like him though but i still dont know if i like jeff more or if i like pat more...yeah. then after school "raffe" (sorry i dont know how to spell his name...or say it..haha) and paul both asked me for a hug at the same time! i gave paul a hug firstb and "raffe"(sorry again) was like awww,,,,he gets a hud before me! hehe hes so cute. so is paul. Adrian didnt give me a hug today though! sniff...sniff....i LOVE hugs...i also LOVE cock! hahaha...yeah,,,my bracelet is cool! i also made a newnecklace! with buttons! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!! well i g2g bye bye

2002-10-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

oops...sorry you guys i didnt mean to post that again today..hehehe

2002-10-17T14:39:00.000-07:00

heyllo! well ummm.....today was pretty ok...i talked to cat and pat. cat was really happy that i wasnt pissed at her. and so was pat. nothing really interesting really happened today...but i think that i have decided to tell you all who i like.....jeff and pat. well today i asked kel if she knew who he liked and she said he didnt like anyone so...umm i dont know. but im pretty sure that you all knew that i liked pat...i dont know who i like more. its just that i know that pat likes cat...so then i dont know what to do about that because i dont know if hes ever going to get over her. it was kinda srtupid...the reason i dumped him in the first place. it was because i thought that he liked cat...he later told me that he liked me and not cat so now i feel really dumb and stuff...o well...apparently a few people thought that the reason that i broke up with pat was because i thpought taht he was too good for himn and that he wasnt moving fast enough for me....what?! i dont think so....dont know where that got started anyways. i made a new email!!! cheesecakeandpunkrock@hotmail.com! its spoooo cool...but since i dont have msn on this computer ill have to wait until i go to someones huse to do it. ummm well i guess that thats all that i have to say for today....ummm....exuse my weird mood yesterday...i was not happy...im not saying that i am totally happy now but defienetely more than yesterday....bye bye

2002-10-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

2002-10-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

thank you jeff for trying to make me feel better i think that it made a huge difference...xoxox....see you all tomorow

2002-10-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

hey guys...i might mess up a little bit because i cant see the keyboard through my tears...no i am not mad at cat or pat....its not their fault that they like each other...maybe i should just stop caring...its not her fault that lots of guys like her...it sucks yes but i cant do anything about it. i still have that sick feeling in mystomach. i feel like im going to barf...well i bought cat a present when i went to the states...i shouldnt get in their business...ill just float away and no one will ever see me again...i remember when i used to think like this...alwaus crying and i wanted to just leave it all. maybe i shoyld...what would the world be like without me?? probably the same. then maybe cat and pat could be happy..then they could go out without me in the way...i used to like pat sooooo much. now i see that there is no point. ill just float away.......just when i opened up my heart, the one you used to love came and ripped it all apart-the ataris...ironic how i got that song at cats huse...she downloaded it for me...this one too-i dont know why, i care so much, when i shouldnt care at all.-the ataris....thank god that i have chrisitne because if i hadnt called her last night then i might have really hurt myself...again...exept this time even worse...why does he like her more than ,me? did i do something wrong? he probably doesnt even know the answers to those questions...but cat its ok..its not your fault...im not mad at you two...just sad...very sad...ill just float away...

2002-10-09T13:54:00.001-07:00

PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENPENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENISIS PENIS PENIS

2002-10-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

2002-10-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

hi! i am at vanessas huse! yay! CRAIG IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT! and vanessa is cool and ashley is a slut! yeah and today was cool! ummm...i had that math test 1st class today!...candice just got here! she likes avril lavigne...(it still hurts just to write her name)...ill talk later...distracted...its all avrils fault...

2002-10-08T16:29:00.001-07:00

no offense...i love you

2002-10-08T16:29:00.000-07:00

one thing that i ahve to say to kris is that maybe you should stop bashing K i your blogger because you are dating him and he might read it or something.....

2002-10-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

few things to mention:
1.pay no attention to the time on my blogger because i dont have the write time but oi dont feel like fixing it either
2.you know why my fingers are always cold??? i found this out...its because i found out that when you wear nail polish it covers the part of your finger that needs air so they get cold...hahahahaha....i am so smart
3.avril lavigne is a poser (it hurts me just to write her name)
4.kris and kaleigh are cute together
5.pat and cat are cuter together
6 jm and yulan are the cutest together
7.i am the queen
8.if you dont believe that i am the queen then you can ask anyone that was on the bus or you can ask my bitch, elyse
9.i still dont want to tell you who i like! ha! ha! *i am sticking my tongue out at you*

2002-10-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

TODAY! was pretty ok...i wasnt in the best mood though...first i get to school and christine runs up to me and clings to me...gah...dont like that but whatever...then we had some class first dont remember what because it was too early in the morning. then we had art...that was pretty fun...i sat next to jeff so that vicky could sit with us and jason as usual took all my water colours...WHATEVER....then i was trying to sleep but i wasnt feeling well so i tried to fall asleep...but that didnt work because jeff kept on poking me...ouch...it scared the hell out of me. then we had...ummm...math o yeah. that was ok....we had a quiz and i didnt feel like thinking spo i just put inverse variation relation for like everything and barely drew any graphs...after calss i found out that the teacher is now counting it for a test...but we get to work on it some more tomorow...i have lots to do tomorow...hopefully i feel like doing it...then was lunch. meh...talked with vivky and took my lunch from the caf...then was english....that was pretty fun....we watched a bit of a movie then we went to the room near the library and did "work" on our projects. im with dina and heather (smart people), kris ( smart too, i think) patrick (unknown ) and me. we were thinking of a name for our test....HAHAHAHAHA well i dont remember what we ended up coming up with but you guys know what im talking about....pat did come up with sack of urine as a name for a test....?....lol......then i went home...and yeah i had CHEESECAKE! jm you suck because you told me that you dont like it...well thats about it so for...no homework i think...maybe i should study for math...nah...well my fingers are cold...

2002-10-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

HEY!!!! i didnt write yesterday because i was too tired and i didnt feel like sitting down anymore...yesterday was the most boring...gah. first we went on a school bus for 4 hours to go to a mine where we listened to some french guy talk about rocks...hehe...they let us in the office and bobbi changed their screen saver to bobbi rox!....lol...well back to yesterday.....then we got to pick a rock! wow! (sarcasm) and then we took a shorter bus ide to some restaurants and had lunch. I got a happy meal!!! mmm...its just really sad because the girl at the counter didnt understand Happy Meal..... all i said was cheeseburger happy mea and then she left to go get someone who sorta spoke englishl...stupid...id at least think that the people who WORK there would at least know what happy meal means....you know what happy meal is in french???? JOYEUX FESTIN.....that doesnt even sound like food...it sounds like something that french people say on christmas...lol. after a half hour lunch, some people went in the play place in mcdonalds...me and bobbi took a few balls so that we could play with them on the bus...shit it as freezing on the bus....anyways....then we went to a ROCK MUSEUM...i didnt even know that they actually had a museum about those boring things...it was cold in there too....well then we got to listen to some other french guy talk for an hour and a half about rocks and stuff....then we got to FINALLY sit down...then jeff gave me his coat because i was cold and i sat on the couch and talked to steph...it was gross because i found out that this museum was also a bug museum....ewwww! anyways there were bugs on the tv so i talked to steph and jeff laughed at me because he was sitting beside me on the couch...anyways then alan bought a lolipop with WORMS in it...that kid is sooooooooo screwd up. Then the french rock guy took out some dead crickets for people to eat. AHHHHH! thats disgusting. amanda ate TWO of them and jeff at ONE and isabelle ate ONE....of course i only heard about this because i was on the other end of the room...then amanda brought over one and i screamed and i was freaking out REALLY so she got rid of it...she ATE it....gah...what is wrong with them... well then after that we got back on the bus and took a long ride back....i was freezing but jeffs coat was REALLY warm.....so it wasnt as bad. when it got a little less cold i gave him back his jacket and started to play catch with him and jason and sorta jmbut yulan was sorta on him so he was sorta busy. it was fun////the only fucking annoying thing was SAMANTHA! shes so bitchy...everytime the ball hit her be accident she would take it and not give it back...shes so...uh...nevermind. then when we started to get closer to home we made some signs with the paper that we had origianlly used to make papare planes(that was fun hahaha) and then we wrote honk if your horny....a few people honked i got this lady to honk but then asselin came over and started to scream at me because i had my hands outside of the windows....shit that teacher is nice but just dont piss her off...god...anyways when we left my mom picked me up and yeah.

2002-10-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

hey...i didnt mean to do that one...oops..ill get used to this soon...sorry you guys...ill talk about that later but yeah

2002-10-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

one more thing....christine is my BEST FRIEND....i just wanted you to know because i know that we dont hang out a lot at school and it might not seem that we are friends

2002-10-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

ooooooo i forgot something! do you all want to know who i like???? hahahha....too bad....maybe later

2002-10-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

hello!!!!umm...yeah i got a blogger now!!!!!!!!yay!!!!! DETERGENT im at my dads this weekend so thats probably going to be the only time that ill be able to write in this...gah...i actually did soemthing that lots of other people did first...forgive me...lol...so guess what???? K and kris are going out! hehehe...yay! i feel sorta bad though because maybe there really was a reason why K didnt want to ask her out...oops...well i hope that you guys last and that K is a good kisser....LOL>>>>>HAHAHA well anyways i went to chinatown today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i bought a lot of stuff....i got some inscense...and i got some necklaces....the necklace is a pot leaf...DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...its cool....and i got a YU-GI-OH POSTER!!!!!!! its soooooo incredibly cool and yeah. i also saw a movie that was called spririted way. its really cool and youshould ALL go and see it. the art trip is on monday!!!! yay...its just that i didnt get any of the signatures for the thing from the teachers...o well i hope that its not important...maybe it is....well...im running out of things to say and im not sure what to write because theres a lot of things that i want to say but i cant because people read it but maybe ill write later....bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye....talk to you later